Godo Bolet: Some Wonderfully described definitions

MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master.

LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either.

CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece

TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!

DICTIONARY:
A place where divorce comes before marriage

CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

CLASSIC:
A book which people praise, but never read.

SMILE:
A curve that can set
a lot of things straight!

OFFICE:
A place where you can relax
after your strenuous home life.

YAWN:
The only time when some married men
ever get to open their mouth.

ETC:
A sign to make others believe that you know
more than you actually do.

COMMITTEE:
Individuals who can do nothing individually
and sit to decide that nothing can be done
together.

EXPERIENCE:
The name men give to their Mistakes!

ATOM BOMB:
An invention to bring an end to all inventions.

PHILOSOPHER:
A fool who torments himself during life,
to be spoken of when dead.

DIPLOMAT:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way
that you actually look forward to the trip.

OPPORTUNIST:
A person who starts taking bath if he
accidentally falls into a river.

OPTIMIST:
A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER
says in midway "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"

PESSIMIST:
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,
Instead of the first letter in OPPORTUNITY.

MISER:
A person who lives poor so that
he can die RICH!

FATHER:
A banker provided by nature.

CRIMINAL:
A guy no different from the other,
unless he gets caught.

BOSS:
Someone who is early when you are late
and late when you are early.

POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections
and your Confidence Later.

DOCTOR:
A person who kills your ills by pills,
and kills you
by his bills!

CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper,
with fire at one end
and a fool at the other!

Godo Bolet